In this conversation, I'm joined by Jason Van Ruler as we discuss the importance of addressing past wounds and traumas in order to move forward in life and relationships.


We talk about the concept of scripts and how our past experiences shape the narratives we tell ourselves. 


Learn more about Jason here - https://www.jasonvr.com/



Takeaways

Addressing past wounds and traumas is essential for personal growth and healthy relationships.
Scripts, formed by past experiences, shape the way we perceive ourselves and others.
On the Xtended Version ...

Jason and I dive into the work of Dr. Schnarch and his theory of traumatic mind mapping, which examines the deeper layers of trauma and the motivations behind it.

The conversation emphasizes the need to confront the dark side of ourselves and rewrite our narratives to chart a new course.

Enjoy the show!

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Get Past Your Past | Jason VanRuler #662

Straight-forward, honest conversations and actions to create a life and marriage fully alive!

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Health & Fitness

In this conversation, Dr Jessica Higgins joins me as we discuss the topic of criticism in relationships.

We explore how criticism can be damaging -- but we also offer strategies for addressing it.

It is so, so important to slow the process down, get curious, and reveal the underlying needs and requests.

Learn more from Dr Higgins - https://drjessicahiggins.com/

Empowered Relationship Podcast link: https://drjessicahiggins.com/podcasts/


Get the free guide here - https://drjessicahiggins.com/shifting-criticism-for-connected-communication

Takeaways

Criticism in relationships can be damaging and erode the bond between partners.
Slowing down and getting curious can help address criticism and reveal underlying needs and requests.
Both partners need to take responsibility for their own reactions and work towards open communication and vulnerability.
Addressing criticism requires a balance between being considerate of the other person's feelings and maintaining a sense of self.
On the Xtended Version ...

In the XTD content, we also discuss the role of defensiveness and the need for both partners to take responsibility for their own reactions. The main takeaway from our conversation -- the importance of open communication and vulnerability in creating a healthy and connected relationship.

Enjoy the show!

Sponsors ...

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Turn Criticism Into Connection | Dr Jessica Higgins #678

In this episode of Sexy Marriage Radio, Dr Corey and Pam discuss the importance of flexibility in marriage and how it relates to facing and dealing with reality.

We explore the concept of love languages and how they may not always lead to more desire or passion in a relationship. What is the difference between being a good companion and being a good lover?

And what's the role of presence and initiation in igniting sexual attraction?

Takeaways

Flexibility is crucial in marriage as it allows couples to face and adjust to the realities of life.
Love languages are important for connection and relationship maintenance, but they may not always lead to sexual desire.
Being a good companion is different from being a good lover, and both aspects are important in a relationship.
Creating an environment that fosters intimacy and desire requires self-awareness, presence, and initiation.
Vacations can ignite passion and desire due to the change in scenery, routine, and relaxation, but it's important to understand and replicate the factors that contribute to the spark at home.
On the Xtended Version ...

What make vulnerability in marriage so difficult?

Is it the motivations behind the vulnerability? I think yes.

Let's explore more.

Enjoy the show!

Sponsors ...

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Love Languages and Sexual Attraction #677

In this conversation, GS Youngblood joins me as we discuss his blueprint for masculinity in relationships, which focuses on three elements: respond versus react, provide structure, and create safety.

He emphasizes the importance of simplicity, relationality, and applicability in his framework.

We highlight the significance of emotional resonance, co-regulation, and curiosity in creating a safe and connected relationship.


Learn more from GS Youngblood here - https://www.gsyoungblood.com/

Takeaways


GS Youngblood's blueprint for masculinity in relationships consists of three elements: respond versus react, provide structure, and create safety.
The blueprint emphasizes simplicity, relationality, and applicability in order to be easily understood and implemented by men.
The first element, respond versus react, involves being grounded, still, and choiceful in one's actions.
The second element, provide structure, entails having inner clarity and attunement to oneself and one's partner.
The third element, create safety, focuses on emotional safety, trust-building, emotional resonance, co-regulation, and curiosity.
Embodying the qualities of the masculine blueprint can help men feel more grounded, confident, and connected in their relationships.

On the Xtended Version ...

In the XTD content, we dive deeper into the 3 aspects of the blueprint. The first element, respond versus react, involves being grounded, still, and choiceful in one's actions. The second element, provide structure, entails having inner clarity and attunement to both oneself and one's partner. The third element, create safety, involves emotional safety and trust-building.

Enjoy the show!

Sponsors ...

SMR Academy: Join the Academy and get more content and deeper connection. https://smr.fm/academy

The Masculine In Relationship | GS Youngblood #676

In this conversation, Emily Nagoski joins me as we discuss the creation of her new book on long-term relationships and lasting connections.

We explore the concept of normal sex and the importance of pleasure, authenticity, connection, and vulnerability in maintaining a strong sexual connection. We also dive into the impact of societal myths and expectations on sexual relationships and the need for open and honest communication about desires and boundaries.

In our conversation, we discuss the importance of emotional connection and collaboration in a marriage. Emily shares her personal experiences and how she learned to rely on her partner for support. She also explains the concept of the emotional floor plan and how different emotional states can affect sexual intimacy.

The conversation highlights the need for intentional effort and communication in building a strong sexual connection.

Learn more about Dr Emily here - https://www.emilynagoski.com/

Takeaways

Long-term sexual connections are built on pleasure, authenticity, connection, and vulnerability.
Normal sex is defined as an experience where everyone involved is glad to be there, free to leave with no unwanted consequences, and turns towards what's happening with kindness, compassion, and curiosity.
Societal myths and expectations about sex can create pressure and feelings of inadequacy in relationships.
Open and honest communication about desires and boundaries is crucial for maintaining a strong sexual connection.
Sexual experiences can vary greatly among individuals and change over time, and that is normal. Building a strong sexual connection requires emotional connection and collaboration in a marriage.
Learning to rely on your partner for support is transformative and allows for a deeper level of intimacy.
Understanding the emotional floor plan can help navigate different emotional states and their impact on sexual intimacy.
Accepting help and support from your partner is challenging but necessary for a healthy relationship.
Adventurous sex is not just about trying new things, but also about open communication and expressing your needs and desires.

Enjoy the show!

Sponsors ...

One Skin: Get 15% off OneSkin with our code SMR at https://oneskin.co 
#oneskinpod

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Come Together | Dr Emily Nagoski #675

In this episode we discuss common mistakes that married couples make when it comes to initiating sex. 

There are dynamics of higher desire and lower desire and patterns that make these mistakes so easy to make.

We cover six common mistakes: getting annoyed at being the one who initiates, using covert or roundabout methods of initiation, joking or crude initiations, feeling the need to be as turned on as your partner, using the same initiation method every time, and talking yourself out of initiating. 

Takeaways

Recognize the dynamics of higher desire and lower desire in your relationship
Update your map of each other as you grow and change
Avoid common mistakes in initiation, such as getting annoyed or using covert methods
Focus on connection rather than just sexual fulfillment
Communicate with your spouse about your initiation patterns and desires
Take action to improve your initiation patterns and foster a deeper connection

On the Xtended Version ...

What make authenticity and vulnerability in marriage so difficult?


Is it the motivations behind the vulnerability? The reactions to vulnerable moments? Both?

Let's explore more.

Enjoy the show!

Sponsors ...

SMR Getaway: Getaway with your spouse this June 13-15. https://smr.fm/getaway

Get Past Your Past | Jason VanRuler #662

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